Checking Off The List

Previously Written on Oct. 1st, 2008--
Goals for this next year:
1. Try to Post on this blog at least 3-4 times a week (I hope all who read will enjoy)
2. Get Magic streaming online (my family could finally hear me live)
3. Interview someone as big or bigger than Justin Guarini (F.Y.I.--nice guy on the phone)
4. Have my Midday shift become a request lunch style show (I want to make a person's day by
playing a song they request)
5. Stay safe during the winter again
6. Possibly learn to ski
7. Have either a family member or friend visit me from the south
8. Put together a kick-butt air-check for future job hunts
9. Edit my paper resume
10. Look into bigger markets (the White Mountains and Magic have treated me so well, but I
need to start looking into my future plans and future savings)
11. Build a snowman (I didn't have the time last winter)
12. Do some hiking with friends

Looking at the list, it really does shock me at what all I've been able to do in my career and in life even before Oct. 1st of this year. When you write goals down, you sometimes forget them after the list staring back at you for weeks on end, just saying "Check me off!" I looked at the list for a couple of months, but as time became shorter and shorter for me, the list did get pushed to the side. Even though it was left abandoned like an old VHS at a thrift store, I still pushed myself to get things done, take charge and try to make a difference. I wish I was able to do more there at Magic, but I realized that with the move, I was able to get some of the stuff on the list with my new station.

Lets take a look at the list from what has happened:
1. Well, I was doing pretty good...until around March. Life comes and time goes on, but I'm back now and will hope to continue and write.
2. I knew that even by the time I left to pursue bigger things in life, Magic would still not have streaming. Man, I wish I put some money down on that bet. I know that they were actually in talk of it coming soon...stay tune! With the new station, we've been streaming online for a good while now, so now everyone can listen in at anytime.
3. I have DEFINITELY interviewed someone bigger than Justin Guarini, just not at Magic. I did try to figure out how to go about getting interviews, but it got me nowhere, and very frustrated. As of the start of this job (almost 2 months now), I've met Jeremy and Joseph from Seventh Day Slumber, and THE Steven Curtis Chapman! and I've interviewed over-the-phone Andy from Seven Stories Up, Dave from Sidewalk Prophets, Matt Hammitt from Sanctus Real, and THE Natalie Grant! Next up--possibly the guys from Big Daddy Weave, who knows :)
4. Did not happen at all, no matter how much I tried and tried...
5. Stayed safe, except for a little slip I had on my front steps (itsy-bitsy scratch)
6. Low money resources+little time=Negative on this one
7. Mom and Dad finally came up to visit...about 2 weeks before I moved. Better late than never
8. And that is how I have the job I have now. Down the road I'll try to put another one together.
9. Check out number 8 response
10. From around 120th to 58th in the nation--you be the judge
11. Didn't get a chance to, but did build some more snowballs :)
12. Went up to Cathedral Ledge by myself...and drove most of it. Still nice to be in nature though!

I'm not going to make another list yet until I'm here for a year, but I can tell you all this: I'm getting into the swing of the new job, dealing with different fun, and I will never, ever, ever forget my time in the north! Wherever I go, my memories, my journey, and who I am as a person will continue to follow. Until later, Blessings and Peace sent y'alls way!

P.S. New Third Eye Blind "Bonfire," Jason Castro's "Let's Just Fall In Love Again" and Plumb's re-release of "God Shaped Hole" are those to listen for.

The Start of a New Season

6 months later and one move across the country again, and I'm back to hopefully bring you more interesting info of this Radio DJ's life. Sometimes you get so wrapped-up in life and the craziness within that you really don't have time to do anything extra--this including chatting on AOL, watching TV even online, checking a movie out at the Redbox, or even blogging. No apologies this time to my readers--I couldn't do everything, so I had to take a little chill-pill on certain things.

In the last 6 months, I started to realize more and more about who I am and what I need to do in this world, or at least what I need to open myself up to in the whole spectrum of the Lord's plan. I began to really connect with a lot of people in the town, I enjoyed most of my coworkers, I had gained a family in my church and a few little brothers and sisters through theatre, and I had gone through 2 winters--something that most northerners would have never thought a southern gal could do. But I still knew something bigger was in store for me, something that I've always known but was never the right time...or I should say, it wasn't God's time, not even if I begged and pleaded. What I really think kicked things into gear was the work relationship with my co-host and the hamster-in-wheel feeling that continued to grow at work. When you know it's time to move on, there are those truth-telling signs that show up. I think a big one for me was my creative juices continued to bubble up, but they were continually shut down or stifled, whether due to not enough resources, not enough manpower, or just excuses that were getting very annoying and redundant. There was no way to move up, nothing more I could do in a small market, and so I knew it was time. The other factor was the work relationship with one particular person. Don't get me wrong, the man is AWESOME with imaging and mixes and definitely knows how to feel a crowd out (in a club DJ sense), but we just kept on butting heads more and more and more. I don't know what happened and I wish it was something that I could change, but the fact was that things weren't getting better. Maybe (and to what I believe) it was a mix of bitter feelings he had lingering inside (7 years in a very small market can do that to you) plus not really knowing how to deal with a co-host that was actually friendly and fun. His 2 previous co-hosts were extreme feminists, and one was downright mean, and between those 2, he had developed a type of defense mechanism. Well, in walks little 'ol me--nice, funny, and down-to-earth--not something he was use to. The first year was good, all went very smoothly, but than he didn't know how to react after that. Maybe he thought I was going to turn on him, or maybe he thought it was a complete facade I was putting on, but whatever it was, he decided to put up his defense. A little insult here, a little harder tease there, and as time continued, arguments and belittling went on and on. As I said, he is wonderful in the work he does, and I respect him for that and I do thank him for the tips he gave me over the last (almost) 2 years, but I really couldn't work with him anymore.

I started my job search around March, as stated in my last blog entry, and as the weeks and months went on, I was applying to about 3-4 stations a week. It wasn't until around June that I received an email from this Christian music radio station in McAllen, TX -- "Are you still interested in a job with us?" I had to refresh my memory about who the station was and what position I had applied for, but it didn't take me long to write back and say Yes! Around this time, I was working on doing my first (and only) radio project that I co-created and fully took on all by myself--Special Occasions and Magic 104's Cuts for a Cause, a benefit for the Locks of Love Organization. My mentor helped give me the idea, Jim the sales exec helped secure the client to help with the event, and on June 27th, 14 people (including myself) donated hair, totaling 181 inches! The cool thing was that the client did all the haircuts for free and even wants to do it next year...sucks that I'm not there to help out. While in the midst of doing all this, I had interviewed over the phone twice with the station in McAllen, and I guess that they enjoyed me so much, they flew me down July 4th weekend for an in-person interview. After that, the rest is what I'm living now. They offered me the position of Production Director, plus Morning Show Producer AND Radio Personality--lots of responsibility in such a short amount of time. I would say that the titles (and my own office) weren't the only things that made me say yes. There was this inner person, this inner voice saying "Take It!!" It was in a waaayyyyyy bigger market (a really HUGE Medium size, maybe large in the next few years), the pay was a little more, the living expenses in the area were less, and there's been stuff going on with my family down in TX that I knew that I would either need a new job that would pay me A LOT more so I could fly down a lot more w/o breaking the bank, or just be closer so it wouldn't cost so much. This job was what I needed--it got me out of the rut I was in and it got me away from the bitterness and anger that started to develop in me b/c of someone else's beef.

I do miss ALLL of the people who cared for me, befriended me, loved me, and respected me up in the White Mountains, but I know that they knew I wasn't going to stay there for forever, and they know that I will always love them and thank them for the rest of my life! They also know that I will try and visit at least once a year, b/c they did become a type of family to me, and you shouldn't go more than a year without seeing familia. I hope that the way those people touched my life, well, I hope I was able to do the same, because that is one of the few great feelings and joys in between the absurdities that are thrown at us by the world every single day.

So I'm now in McAllen, have been here for a little more than a month, and I must say that it's been good so far. I almost made it 2 full years in the North Country, but I know that even though I didn't stay that long, I know I did all I could do, and hopefully brought a little change to it. I hope that those who aren't Christian saw that not all of us are judgemental or extremely conservative. I hope those who never really had someone to listen to them were able to have that one listening ear. I hope those who see the glass half-empty could start to see the glass half-full. And I hope that those who close their ears and eyes to new music, new thoughts, and new ideas of what the rest of the country is like (especially the southern part) can now see a better, more enjoyable realization of what is around them...and maybe explore and make opinions for themselves.

As I have in the past, and how I always will in the future, it's time to get off of here, prep for tomorrow, and then head to bed early because 4am comes way too quickly. Blessings and PEACE! :)

Oh, and P.S.--I'll probably have to find that list I had made about what I wanted to accomplish this year and start checking some stuff off. I guess that'll be next time!

Discovery

When you put your music on random, it's fun to stumble across a song or 2 that you really haven't heard in awhile and forgot that you even had. And when your collection on your computer alone contains almost 2900 choices to select from, random can spit out almost anything. Doing some Sodoku, chillin' on a friday night, and low and behold, Warren Barfield's "Love Is Not A Fight" comes up, followed by Janet Jackson's "If" and then a song later, MGMT's "Time To Pretend." 3 songs that are so different, so unique, and yet have so much behind them. Whether it's a song to make you think, a song to make you remember your younger years, or do both.

It's the beauty of music and the beauty of what I do for a living. Yeah, I catch myself getting a little annoyed by hearing the same Kelly Clarkson song play over our airwaves for the 2nd-3rd time that day, but than I look at the songs that use to be played on repeat when I was really young, and now I enjoy them all over again. And maybe that's what happens when someone tunes into our station for the first time--a song from the 80's or 90's that they use to listen to allllll the time, and than dropped it to the side, has once again resurfaced and is playing on their rental car radio, and I'm sending it their way.

So, you may have thought I dropped off the face of the earth. Let's just say I took a new journey to the foreign, yet extremely busy world of theatre. I loved doing "Company" and "Footloose" and realizing that I actually have some more skills that I didn't know I really had, yet I am going to take a little break because I need to settle my schedule some. Maybe after another month or 2 I'll think about trying out for another production. And you may have also wondered if I've killed the co-host or relocated. Well, I think after one incident where I showed my true latin-anger roots, the co-host has started to calm down more and listened to some of my ideas a little more. I have also been doing Saturday mornings from 9am-noon live so I may be able to get that caller interaction that I have been desperately needing (the whole him with the phone on his side thing doesn't help me any). And even though I haven't relocated yet, I have been looking at job openings around the U.S., even thinking about doing TV or other forms of media...but I love music so much, I don't know if I could ever really leave it. As I've said before, maybe I could be the female Ryan Seacrest on of these days.

The really nice thing with doing the plays/musicals is that I've established another group of friends--many reminding me of my band friends/family that I have back home. I guess it only makes sense that I would hit it off with a lot of them b/c I have realized over the years that band people and theatre people are very similar in their humor, their openness to new friends and experiences, and just at being ready for any situation that comes their way. Because I now have a "following" perse, I decided to refresh my Facebook page, and have to update it way more than I have done in the past. Plus, I've gotten to meet a lot more fans of the morning show and the station, many of them in High School and super excited when they meet me in person! I'm just a normal person...or at least that's what I thought, but I guess that whole radio person thing makes teenyboppers crazy astatic to meet you and add you as a friend on Facebook--it's too funny and very sweet.

Broken Record Anyone?

So I believe I have come to the conclusion that I am stuck! No, that does not mean I am stuck in my doorway, I am not stuck in my driveway (but that did happen last winter after receiving 2 feet of snow), and I'm not stuck in an elevator. It means that this radio DJ, this radio personality, has outgrown this station, yet can't really get a job somewhere else because of economy issues and my commitments to things I've gotten involved in for the next 2-3 months (or so).

Now don't confuse me outgrowing the station as to me not continuously learning and growing in my craft--when that day comes, I will be retired. It just means that I am starting to feel as if I am going in a complete circle with my work: go on the air, make people laugh and be entertained, pre-record midday shift, do production, go home, eat lunch, take nap, eat dinner, do X (fill in X with extra-curricular activity), go to bed, repeat. Throw in a community interview here and there, and a board-operating situation now and then, and you've got my stuck life. No really interesting celebrity interviews, no concerts to emcee or give tickets away to, no weekends booked with really fun remotes. I know I live in a small area, and it's mainly a tourist town, but if something doesn't change, I may have to start applying to bigger stations a lot faster than planned.

I have been starting to change some stuff here and there so I can stay busy and feel more productive. No, my mid-day shift is still not live (don't blame me, blame the PD), but I am doing half of my Saturday shift--9am-Noon--live now, which gives me the people interaction I need, plus I bring requests and shout-outs to make the listener's day! I also have decided to take it upon myself to try to find ways of contacting artists to try and do over-the-phone interviews around the times when they are coming out with a new single, new album, concert tour, etc. So far, I've tried the management company for Hoobastank...no answer yet. If only I had some connections or if I was PD--oh well, I'll keep trying.

I think what will also help me is going back home to visit everyone. I am really getting homesick, but it makes sense seeing that it's been 8 MONTHS since I've set foot on Texas soil. Another reason of why I can't stay up here longer than one more year. I'm not saying that I will be going straight back to Texas for my next career move, but I do hope that it's either somewhere close enough OR somewhere that will pay me well enough that I can afford to fly down more often. Who knows, only time will tell. All I can say is that I hope and I pray that I become unstuck soon, or I may just explode a tad-bit.

P.S. The musical that has kept me insanely busy the last two months, "Company," went amazingly!!! The 14 other castmates I had the chance to work with and become a family with are so incredibly talented, super sweet, and should be on Broadway. Actually, I think one of them was at one point in time. As the rookie to theatre (this was my first performance with any theatre company), it was the best first show I could ever do, with some of the best cast and crew to work with.

Counting the Days

So, I think I may start counting how many days the co-host will have the "I don't want you to go Live for an hour a day, 5 days a week, b/c it'll tie up a studio...plus here's a lot more excuses" brick wall up. I'm going to guess maybe another few weeks or so, or maybe until I find a new job, who knows. Or maybe my sales peep that I've talked to will be able to have some sponsors (or even just one sponsor) interested in the Lunch Request idea, so the days may shorten.

I know, you shouldn't go behind your co-host/kind-of boss' back when it comes to almost everything...but he did say that if it was sponsored, I could do the Lunch Request from 12pm-1pm. So I guess, I'm not really going behind his back, I'm just getting the ball possibly rolling and doing some research, no harm there. Some may think that going around him will get me in trouble, so why do you think I've only talked to one sales person, plus she's going to casually bring up the idea as a hypothetical situation. As my dad said, if I get a sponsor, what excuses can the co-host really use.

When we sort-of discussed the idea again today, the co-host still listed off his same lame excuses, which in turn I had more backing and responses/solutions to the "problems" he came up with. Even then, he still didn't want to hear it, so I ended up just sitting and answering with one word answers, but inside I just wanted to scream, "Why are you so against this idea? Why do YOU not want me to do this?" I knew if I asked these questions, it would probably rile him up and he would take his anger out at me some way. It just saddens me a little that someone who has helped me with lots of stuff this year with my on-air skills, and who I thought was starting to become a friend, has decided to turn out to act like a complete di**head, jacka**, who for some reason wants to crush hopes, dreams and good ideas that may make the station a tad bit better. Why he's acting like this, I really don't know, but I am just sad for him...even though, at first (up til even yesterday morning before church) I wanted to string him upside down and continousely through snowballs at him, while having little kids hit him with wiffle bats, and then the occassional kick to the groin. Now though, I have become just sad and confused with him. So instead of getting angry, I'm solving the "situation" myself--I'm finding a way to get things going. If I can't have the station streaming online, then just give me my Request Lunch.

I hopefully will be able to carry out my mission, but if I don't, I leave me full music collection to my blog friends, I leave my electronics to my siblings, and my clothes to my friends back home. Other stuff may be divided amongst my family and close friends. :)

Is the Ride Stopping Soon...or at least Pausing

And the Carousel of annoyance goes around a little bit more. After cooling down some yesterday (plus being able to do the morning show by myself and deal with only 2 other people at the station), I thought all was good and I could continue on forward. I don't know if it's because of my personality, some mannerisms I've picked up from some of my guy friends, or both, but I usually can get a little worked up, but after anywhere between 2 minutes to 24 hours, I shake the problem off (or deal with it asap) and move on. Well, all was going fine until we were on the air this morning and the co-host decided to make some comments to a story I was telling relating to new laws that went into effect yesterday. One was that in Maine, human trafficking is illegal now, with a very serious punishment if found guilty. I know, it surprised me a little that it wasn't already a law in Maine, but maybe human trafficking wasn't becoming an overwhelming problem in Maine until recently, or maybe the law just took a very long time to pass--who knows. Following this fact, the co-host replied with his shock as well, and then asked me at one point about TX--is it illegal down there? Well, from my knowledge, I told him that I believe it's been a law in Texas for awhile...duh, we're right next to the Mexico border. The co-host follows with a, "Well, it is Texas," which proceeded with me starting to discuss the border reasoning, which he then replies with an, "Again, it's because it's Texas." I try to say something to counter debate/question his comment, but he cuts me off with a commercial sweeper.
First off, a little rude with the cutting off bit--not cool. But I guess the big problem for me was, What the Hell was He meaning by, "Because it's TX" ?!? It wasn't like he was trying to help back up my reasoning for the border idea, but instead questioned the reasoning, and in fact put down my home state (plus a little bit of my intelligence) all on the air and all with his usual bitter, snide attitude. I usually tend to blow off his silly little boy remarks, but this was following me trying to chill and calm down my annoyances around me. It's a test I tell ya, and to pass it, I must go in to work on Monday and just be chill, like nothing is bugging me. But I have to say, one more snide remark on the air to me like that that isn't out of fun will get him a very hard kick in the shins!! Thankfully, it would only be his shins and nothing else.